Raising kids well is much harder than raising dogs well. So why are dogs dumped at shelters?

I've raised puppies and I've trained dogs. I am currently raising my child. I see so many similarities between raising children and dogs well. However, I have recently decided that raising children is WAY harder than raising dogs. So why can't people seem to teach their dogs anything? Are these people raising children who run amock? Do they not teach their children how to behave? I have a hard time believing that all of the people who dump dogs at shelters (considering the millions who end up in shelters every year) are poor parents. Our society would cease to function if that were true! So why do people give up on their dogs? Are they just ignorant of how dogs should be raised? Ignorant of what can be done to increase the likelihood of a dog behaving well? There are plenty of books out there, plenty of websites to tell them what to do. Do they just not think about looking? Or are they too lazy to look for help?

Raising children really is harder than raising dogs.

Raising a dog well means training, exercise, training, love, training, and some more exercise. If you exercise a puppy well, you can give him a chewie bone and expect he'll be content for atleast an hour while you do something else. You can put a puppy in a kennel to keep him out of trouble while you do other things. Give him a stuffed Kong, and he'll be fine.

If you train a puppy well, using love and kindness and rewards (we call this positive reinforcement), you will have a grown dog who is well trained, happy, and able to go most places without issue. Dogs are basically programmed to want to please us. Even the most independent of dogs will respond to good training and to a certain tone of voice. They understand when you are displeased and will do their best to accommodate your wishes, even if they don't often understand what you want.

Children, now, are a completely different matter. Children, it seems, are preprogrammed to constantly try for independence. While this is a good thing when considering that you are raising an independent person, it makes training them somewhat problematic. They don't inherently want to please, as a dog does, and they will continually repeat the same behaviors just to see if they can. Being extremely stubborn is a good trait for a parent since we have to out-stubborn our kids. Explaining to a small child that a behavior is not allowed is not easy. It's infinitely easier to redirect a dog into an appropriate behavior than it is to redirect a kid.

Is it just simply that society expects parents to take care of their kids and not dump them on someone else? Do we as a society accept people dumping their pets? I think so. No one wants to upset anyone so the truth is never told. Shelters should have a sign on the front door giving the statistics of the number of dogs they take in, both strays and owner surrenders, the number of dogs they adopt out, the number of dogs they send to rescue, and the number of dogs they kill. Something has to make people think and atleast the straight facts might make a few people turn around and go back home WITH their pet. Are shelters afraid to share this information? Maybe. Perhaps they are afraid it will reflect on them and the job they are doing. Maybe so, in some cases, but in most cases it is the irresponsible people who are the root cause of the entire problem.

Totoshka needs help

Totoshka entered our rescue high heartworm positive. He needs treatment before he can be adopted. Please help us to help Totoshka.

http://alsiberescue.chipin.com/totoshka

Why I Still Believe in Happy Endings

In this world, it's often very difficult to believe in happily-ever-after. With a divorce rate of 50%, anger and hate so prevalent in the media, and the so-called example set for us by Hollywood and Washington, the idea of the princess and prince being together forever seems like a childish fantasy. Well, this evening, I met a man who has, after many years, found his happy ending.
My seat mate on my flight out to LA was an older gentleman. He didn't talk much most of the flight but as we were coming into LA, he seemed to feel compelled to tell me his story. I don't know his name and will likely never see him again, but his story touched me so that I feel compelled to share it.
When he was a young man, he was in the military and is a Vietnam Veteran. He was stationed at Shaw Air Force base. There he met a young lady, his commanding officer's secretary. They married and had children. When his daughter was young, he and his wife divorced. For whatever reason, and he said there were some family members who worked to make this happen, he lost touch with his ex-wife and their children. Just last September, his daughter found him on Facebook and called him, after 35 years. They spoke for many hours over the next few days and he eventually went to see her and his ex-wife, flying across the country. He has since spent several weeks at a time visiting with them and just a few weeks ago, he and his ex-wife remarried. They both lived their lives single, never found anyone else, and realized they always wanted to be together. He now has 4 grandchildren and has decided to move across the country to be with his wife, children, and grandchildren. He was so happy that I could see tears in his eyes and he didn't seem the type to cry easily.
I don't know why he felt compelled to tell me his story. I am a stranger and was not encouraging conversation. I suppose he just needed to share. I am glad he shared. He renewed my faith in happily-ever-after.

Make your own baby food the easy way

Making baby food at home sounds so daunting, but once you get the hang of it, it's super easy. Moms don't need Gerber to tell them what their baby should eat. We know our babies best. Plus, making food at home means no preservatives and you know exactly what baby is eating. If you're like me and want to limit baby's exposure to chemicals and plastics, making baby food at home is the answer.

Purchase fresh fruits and vegetables. Sweet potatoes, carrots, green beans (frozen is easier), green peas (canned or frozen, check for no added salt), bananas, pears, apples, butternut squash, yellow squash, zucchini, peaches, prunes, and avocados are all great foods for baby.

On a weekend day when you have a bit of free time, wash and peel the fresh foods. Cut foods into thumb sized pieces and steam.
The Nesco 4 quart double steamer is BPA free, very inexpensive, and works great for steaming more than one food at a time.
Carrots take about an hour to steam. Most other foods are 30 mins or less. No need to steam pears or bananas. Just let them ripen to soft and puree.
Go about your business, play with baby, while the food cooks. This is the great thing about a steamer.

When steaming is done and the foods are soft enough to mash with a fork, either let cool in the steamer (will take longer to cool) or transfer to a bowl. Let foods cool to room temperature.

Place food with a little water in a food processor or blender. I've found that the Bullet (or it's off brand counterparts) works wonderfully for pureeing food in the amounts you are likely to make at once. Use the grinding blade. Grind to pureed. If you have a little trouble getting a good puree, add a little more water.

Spoon food into clean glass jars (I love these 3.75 oz from Specialty Bottle, way cheap, reusable, and the lid is lined with plastisol, no BPA or other bad things). I like to fill the 3.75 oz about halfway but you can add more if your baby is older. Just leave expansion room for freezing. Label jars using a sharpie with the type of food and the date.
Many people will tell you to freeze the food in cubes in an ice cube tray and then pop out and store in plastic bags. Too much plastic exposure for me and they get freezer burn in the bags. Storing in the glass jars means all you have to do is grab a jar whether at home or on the go. Baby can take his fruit to daycare, too.

Freeze food. Food can be stored in freezer for 2-3 months.

When baby is hungry, remove the metal lid and microwave for 30-60 s. Stir very well and make sure it's not hot before serving baby. Touch the food or let it cool for 30 mins.

With the right tools, making baby food at home is so easy. All in all, the actual work is about 1.5 hr once or twice a month. If you steam 2 or 3 foods at once (two medium sweet potatoes, a bag of carrots, 4 apples), you'll make enough for several weeks for a 6 month old baby.

Baby products that are super useful but no one really talks about needing them

As a first time mom, it's very hard to know what you'll need and what is extraneous or not very useful. I've found some useful products through internet search when I thought "hey wouldn't it be so much easier if I had XYZ?". Products like the Munchkin formula dispenser have been wonderful and will fortunately be useful for some time as it can also be a snack dispenser when baby is older (cheerios anyone?). Other products, like the Kiddopotamus baby swaddler, would have been wonderful if I had known about it when my son was younger. I am providing a list of products here that would have been useful, or will be useful for a short time, here. I'm also including products that are useful if your child has to go to daycare. I don't like to buy things that aren't used much or if the same job could be done by something I already own, but some items really are very useful even if for a short time.

Kiddopotamus baby swaddler--if you've ever tried to swaddle an active baby who wants to fling his arms about and does not want them inside a blanket, you'll understand why this product would be very useful for a new baby. With a "harness" that fits around baby's trunk and has adjustable velcro straps, baby can not undo the swaddle by pushing his arms out. The lower portion is a detachable pouch for diaper changes without removing the upper part. I would have loved this product when Caleb was first born. I am certain he would have slept better. Plus, it's made from organic cotton.

Personalized pacifiers from MyPacifier.com--extremely useful if your child attends daycare or any other place with several children who have pacifiers. With your child's name directly on the paci, you (and daycare workers) will always know it's his paci. The price is quite reasonable at $15 for 3 pacifiers. They have several different styles and many colors. The lettering does not come off even when washed in the dishwasher on the sanitize cycle (45 min steam sterilization).

Bottle and sippy cup labels--there are a few different types of labels out there, silicone bands or stick-ons. The silicone bands have to be taken off for washing and are not typically printed in enough contrast to read from a few feet away. The bandette labels are not even printed but you write on with a sharpie, which comes off after a couple of washes. They are, however, moveable to different bottles or cups. The stick on labels remain in place through many dishwashings, do not fade, but can not be taken off and used again. I like the Applied Labels used along with the color tape from them. Ours have been through lots of dishwashing cycles and have not peeled off or faded at all. Since you'll only need to label a couple of sets of bottles, the pack of 24 is more than enough.

Grocery cart covers with pillows--Once my son started sitting up with support, I realized how much easier grocery shopping would be if he could sit up in the cart and have support. I found a grocery cart cover that has removable pillows, a great way to let baby see what's going on and still be supported and comfy, the Prop R Shopper. I thought I wouldn't need a cover, would just use a blanket, but quickly found out that blankets slip and slide with a wiggly baby. Stacking the diaper bag on one side and blankets on the other just makes life difficult. This product can be used for a long time and the pillows can be removed if more room is needed. Plus, it's very reasonably priced at ~$35.

Exersaucer--a friend suggested the Exersaucer to me before baby was born and another friend purchased it for us. This has been a wonderful gift! At 4.5 months, baby is sitting up supported and wants to be active. He LOVES bouncing in his exesaucer and making the music play. After 15 minutes of play, he's ready for a nap! The great thing about this toy is how it changes into a play station for older children. It can be used for a long period of time and is very entertaining. Be sure to get the one with music and lights that are activated by touching and/or bouncing.

rocking chair--most people realize they'll need a rocking chair. However, no one needs to spend $500 (or more!) on an overpriced, uncomfortable rocking chair from a big baby supply store. The things to look for in a rocking chair are comfort and support. Be sure there is lumbar support, good arm support (preferably high so you can rest an arm while holding baby), and some extra width for pillow props (especially if breast feeding). Finding one that reclines is even better as there will be nights when baby won't sleep unless you're holding him so you might just need to recline and doze yourself (be sure baby is secure and can not fall out of your arms!). A rocking stool for your feet is helpful. I already had a chair made similarly to these and this one and it has worked really well. The pockets on the side are great for holding a book, TV remote (up all night, you will need something to do while holding baby), or even a baby blanket. Now if only I could find a rocking chair that doubles as a resistance trainer!

Be sure to check my other posts on Baby Product Reviews, Diaper bags and what to put into a diaper bag, and Why doesn't anyone tell you how hard it is to be a new mom?, which discusses issues no one told me before I had a baby, like just how much you will swell.

Are vaccinations to blame or could the rise in childhood disease be the extensive exposure to chemicals, such as plastics?

Many people have jumped on the idea that vaccinations cause autism, among other things, although there is no valid evidence to support these claims. Spouting from celebrities is not evidence. It is their uneducated opinion and their need to find something to blame. The ONE "scientific" study that supported these claims has since been shown to be falsified.
"Journal study linking vaccines to autism was falsified"
Who knows why the study PI would falsify data, perhaps for fame, perhaps for her own bias. Doesn't matter, but the study is false. Vaccinations, such as MMR, have been given to children for 60 years. A sudden jump in autism in the last 10-20 years being caused by this vaccine doesn't even make sense. I understand parents' needs to find some reason when their child is not "normal" or has some issue. It's perfectly natural to want to seek out the cause and fix it. The biggest problem with blaming vaccinations is the limitation that puts on everyone to find the actual cause. There must be a cause, yes, but there are so many other factors to consider besides vaccinations (which are tested in well controlled scientific studies and blaming big pharma because they want to make money is ridiculous. but that's a whole other post.) Exposure to chemicals from the air, water, ground, our pets (flea controls are pesticides), food, and plastics are all likely candidates for disease causes. More likely, it is the compounded problem of long term exposure to so many chemicals from so many sources.
Our water is not clean by virtue of sitting in a well and being filtered through the ground, as water once was. It is now "clean" by virtue of chemical treatments in plants. People dump everything down the drain or toilet and then don't understand why their county water contains medications! Our air is toxic, especially in the city, due to automobiles, big trucks, and industrial plants. But we can't live without our automobiles and we need the big trucks to haul our food and goods and the industrial plants make everything we need, like pipes to carry water to our house. Should there be better standards for clean water and air? Yes, and that's up to everyone to vote for politicians to make it happen, to write letters to current politicians and the EPA, and to Reduce/Recycle/Reuse. Besides these exposures that have grown exponentially in the last 50 years, we are also exposed to plastics like people never were in the past.
Consider this, when I was a child over 30 years ago, our dependence on plastic was minimal. Before that, plastic wasn't even "invented". In the last 20 years, our dependence on plastic has skyrocketed. Our food is in plastic, our furniture and cars are plasticized, our cookware is plastic or coated with other synthetics, our drinking cups/plates/utensils are plastic. The list could go on and on. Stop to think about just how much plastic is in your home. It becomes a frightening realization. There are all different kinds of plastics, some are likely perfectly safe, but some leach chemicals, such as BPA, which has been shown to be carcinogenic. Plastics can leach chemicals, phthalates, PVC, and lead into our food, which we then ingest. As noted on the Environmental Working Group website "BPA and phthalates, however, are better understood. They are both potent hormone disruptors that are increasingly linked to health effects like brain and behavior changes, cancer, and reproductive system damages." Why then do people not seem to realize that brain and behavior changes (i.e. autism) could very easily be caused by BPA and phthalates in their food, leached from plastic storage containers? Likely, people just don't think about it because plastics are so common and the effects of these chemicals are not quickly seen. However, the possible affects of these chemicals on developing children are so much greater than the affects on adults.
Certainly, you can't completely remove plastic from your life. But you can minimize your and your childrens' exposure. The less toxins that build up in your system, the less likely you are to develop issues related to exposure. Choose glass or stainless steel whenever possible. If you must use plastic, choose plastics considered safe and that do not contain phthalates, PVC, BPA, or lead. Plastics marked 1, 2, 4, or 5 are thought to be safer. Do not use #7 for any foodstuffs! When using plastics, do not use hot food in them (stop microwaving your leftover pasta in plastic) as this is more likely to leach chemicals out into your food. Use SS water bottles (no bacteria buildup, no plastic chemical leaching, reusable).
In our home, we are working to remove as many plastics as possible, as many toxins as possible, even though this isn't always the easiest or most practical way. We store food in glass or stainless steel. We cook in stainless steel pots and pans and have thrown out our teflon coated non-stick cookware. While non-stick may be easier to clean, it is not easier on our bodies. We use bamboo cooking utensiles, spatulas and such, which are actually cheaper than plastic and more sustainable. My baby eats out of glass bottles or plastics that are shown to be BPA, PVC, phthalate, and lead free (plastic is, sadly, required at daycare but ThinkBaby makes a good bottle). Baby also uses cloth diapers at home and "organic" diapers at daycare (Earth's Best, 7th Generation). I make baby's food (which is actually pretty easy and a different post) so I know what goes into it and it is stored in glass containers in the freezer. Since BPA has been banned, it is not found in new baby toys and bottles but older ones may contain it so be careful accepting hand-me-downs. Since babies put everything into their mouths, look for toys made of organic cloth and vegetable based dyes or wooden toys. You can't always avoid plastic toys but try to use fewer of them. You can't always avoid plastics for baby's food, either, but, again, reduce exposure by using glass or SS when possible.
To reduce the mess for future generations, we Reduce/Reuse/Recycle as much as possible. Newspapers go to the animal shelter, glass jars from purchased foods (like pasta sauce) are washed and used to store leftovers, old blankets and pillows are repurposed as dog beds, old towels become rags or dog or bird towels, old t-shirts make great rags for dusting, etc. Once you begin to think about it, there are so many ways to reduce your dependence on new items, which reduces the number of trucks on our roads and the output of waste from factories. This also keeps more money in your pocket!
Other ways to help your little corner of the world are to use a line dryer when the weather is nice, always do full loads of laundry not little half loads, full loads of dishes (and dishwashers use less water than hand washing), let the grass get a bit taller before cutting (really who needs 1 in high grass?), rake leaves into a pile in the corner of your yard to become excellent mulch for plants in the spring, unplug electronics when not it use (toasters, coffeepots, hair dryers, etc all pull a little power just waiting to be used), feed good leftovers to the dogs (meat, pasta, vegetables), and drive a diesel vehicle. Any little thing you can do to reduce/reuse/recycle will help. You don't have to go full blown "organic tree hugger" to help yourself, your children, and future generations. Just do what things you can.