First and foremost, plan the wedding for you and your soon-to-be spouse, not for everyone else. If your parents or his contribute financially, they do have some say-so in the guest list, but the overall wedding should be what you want. In planning, pick the couple of things that are most important to you and let someone (or several someones) do the rest. For instance, the music played at our reception was important to me so I took the time to research and download every song. However, the decorations, while important, were not my thing at all. It's not something I'm good at or something I care that much about. My mom is wonderful at it so I told her the colors and let her do everything else, which she very much enjoyed. This sort of thing will make the planning your wedding time so much easier. Also, don't believe the "it takes atleast a year" blah, blah, blah. We were engaged mid-September. I had the major things planned and in place in 2 weeks, officiant, flowers, photographer, location. It took longer to find a dress only because I didn't want to pay $650 and up for a dress for one day. I just think that is silly. I do believe if the marriage is meant, you can get it done in very little time. For us, everything just fell into place. We were married Dec 1 and everything was planned and done a month before.
When searching for a location, look at state parks. They often have a chapel and some kind of rentable room for a reception. The cost at a state park is 10x cheaper than a hotel or some such place. It cost us a grand total of $225 to rent the chapel and reception hall. Of course, they usually have some rules about using their catering, which is just fine if the food is good because that is one less company/person you have to deal with. For our 50 people reception, the food cost $800 total (without alcohol) and we had tons left over. State parks are great.
When buying decorations, dress, veil, suit, whatever....internet! I bought my veil, new and beautiful with a double layer, rhinestones, and hair comb for $2.15 on Ebay. We bought my husband's hand-tailored, 100% all weather wool, Italian suit for $125, brand new. Be creative and flexible and you will find it much easier to obtain the things you want without spending 10-20K. We spent all told, including our rings, $4000. We had a beautiful weekend at the park with friends and family, a beautiful wedding day, and we don't have any debt to pay off afterwards.
Some great internet businesses are Ebay, Amazon, Affordable Elegance (fabulous silk flowers, bouquets), and the local bridal sites (such as Bama Bride here in Alabama). Spend some time surfing the internet to find good deals for what you want. Also, your local craigslist could be helpful if you are lucky.
Involve as many people as you can to take the stress off you. We had numerous family members take care of things, such as cousins for music during the wedding. I told them to play pretty wedding music, gave them the one song for the unity candle, and left the rest to them. If you are not lucky enough to have talented people in your family, hire people, but tell them to use their professional judgement and take care of things instead of asking you 100 questions. Not having to decide on every minute detail will make you much more relaxed. For an officiant, consider your local probate court judge. Many of them will perform the ceremony for a cash donation and if they do it and you obtain your marriage license in their court, you will be processed and have your paperwork in record time. Our judge was the nicest man, did a great job at the wedding, and we had our official marriage certificate in 5 days so I could start the name change process (see other posts).
I know it's been said, but remember that you should have fun and enjoy your wedding day (or weekend in our case). Try not to stress, even when your photographer is 1 hr late. As long as the day ends with you and your spouse married, that is all that matters.
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