Well, I went back to the DMV and was actually taken care of immediately. I, fortunately, dealt with a different lady who was much nicer, even though the original mean cow was giving me the evil eye and being nasty the whole time. She'll probably put a note on my DMV record with something bad.
Another FYI, if your car has a lien on it (i.e. you financed it when you bought it rather than pay for it in cash), you can not change your name on the title. You can either have the title changed when you pay off the car or you can buy a new car. I chose option B and bought a new car in my new name. Doing that was 100x easier.
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